The Trap of Comparison

The Trap of Comparison
May 13, 2018 Mojisola Ogunlola

The Trap Of Comparison

 I have been doing a lot of thinking – about this thing we call Giftings – these things that we humans so gallantly pride ourselves in. I mean the thought that my singing could effortlessly enthral my audience or that the words I speak smoothly slide off my tongue into the hearts of my listeners brings a sense of unparalleled fulfilment, such that

I begin to feel as if I equipped myself with the ability in the first place.

I realized that this self-consciousness seemed to create an unending quest for more than I already had, as I would usually like the Wicked Stepmother in Snow White’s Fairytale find myself asking – “Who is the fairest of them all?”

Well, maybe not that cynically but I found the same spirit of conceitedness at work in me.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure if it was pride, greed or mere insecurity and the thought of what was happening within me was fast upturning my inner equilibrium.

So recently, I was bold enough to shamefully open up about this to some of my best friends. I sure didn’t see what was coming – I got a shocker! I was apparently not the only one that experienced this prevalent phenomenon of narcissism. But what’s more interesting to note was that for most of us, it was borne more out of insecurity than pride– the thought of not having much to give and not trusting in oneself led us down the precarious path of comparison.

So there we sat, confessing our faults one to another and pondering at this very-not-awkward meeting when a thought popped up in my mind; “If all of us compared ourselves to one another, feeling insecure at the thought of the next person and what they could do, who really was BEST?”

As we discussed, we reached the conclusion that comparison is a trap and we all had just unnecessarily hosted baleful thoughts in the homes of our hearts, failing to realize that we were more of allies than competitors.

Though we may all be female, though we may all be writers, there is yet still a unique sound that only I can make on the earth; a uniqueness to my voice and also to my sister’s – all to the end of bringing advancement to the world first and then ourselves.

Life is a process and really our focus should be on becoming the best versions of ourselves, treasuring what we have, firmly understanding that no one can take it and therefore, helping others to achieve greatness – this is the best way.
We really are worth much more than we think!
I was happy I shared my thoughts that day.

 

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